25+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week

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  • 01
    Owen @miseblock - Apr 7 How it feels to go to happy hour in Manhattan before taking the L back to Williamsburg
    via miseblock
  • 02
    @voicingadoubt Apr 7 I'm being love bombed rn ur so goofy but i appreciate it hehehe You just make me smile hehe, I like talking to you idkkkk☛ am i evil to say what ur tellingme doesnt sound genuine.. u like graduated in hinge school of love bombing university or something Read 8:55 PM + iMessage
    via voicingadoubt
  • 03
    ☆ @QUEENPOP • Apr 7 The Princess Diaries (2001) (Mia) - At least your dad's still alive. @retrolustt (Lilly) Hey I thought you were getting over that. Its been, what, two months? PUTNAM
    via QUEENPOP
  • 04
    imno @imno_xyz • Apr 7 how did dad get polish? Nastia @Woelfin DesWeiss · Apr 7 I love Central Europe x.com/miffypost1ng/s... Me Great-grandma Grandma Great-grandpa Mom Great-grandma Grandpa Great-grandpa Great-grandma Grandma Dad Great-grandpa Great-grandma Grandpa Great-grandpa
    via imno_xyz
  • 05
    Meggy @igetsoinspired Apr 7 Ik he got so hyper on set Chi @__Poisonivyyy • Apr 7 Shark boy and Lava girl, 2005
    via igetsoinspired
  • 06
    bald ann dowd @ali_sivi • Apr 7 imagine being born and meeting your dad and it's charlie girls ...
    via ali_sivi
  • 07
    Coffee Lovers an... @tonyhawk... Apr 6 ☑... Moving to San Francisco and fathering a child for a free pair of pants kartik @sathaxe Apr 6 • After two years of fatherhood and two kids I can confidently say that these are the best dad pants of all time if you're a SF dad with a kid 0-4 I'll buy you a pair ...
    via tonyhawktruther
  • 08
    The Notorious J.O... @whotfisjova... Apr 6 . April 19 Birthdays 1 2 The Rizzler, 9 Tik Tok Star PinkPantheress, 24 Pop Singer
    via whotfisjovani
  • 09
    karina ♡ @karina_core Apr 7 it's kinda like a humiliation ritual Your turn (1) Their turn (6) Hidden (33) ... >
    via karina_core
  • 10
    re: emma @evemmore • Apr 4 .. I hate when non riverdale watchers try to make fun of riverdale because they don't even quote the funniest lines. like when the principal cancels the prom because people have død at prom for the last three years and Veronica calls him principal Mussolini
    via evemmore
  • 11
    chloe @ChloeNumberIII Mar 30 . am i supposed to believe annette benning is 20 years older than the obviously 50 year old andy samberg? 4 DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - Mar 30 Annette Bening and Andy Samberg will star in a new rom-com '42.6 YEARS' The film follows a man cryogenically frozen for 42.6 years who tries to re-connect with his ex-...
    via ChloeNumberIII
  • 12
    Ethical Baller @Dad_In_Jorts · Mar 30 • ... Some 110 pound ironic loser from bushwick is gonna wear this while working remotely for a company that is deforesting the Amazon Mike Janela @MikeJanela Mar 30 Some big Mets news that might've gotten lost in all the shuffle of opening weekend: the Team Store at Citi Field now sells full velour tracksuits
    via Dad_In_Jorts
  • 13
    • Meggy @igetsoinspired Mar 29 I think a guy acting like a fully developed adult is more avante garde than a guy in a dress rn
    via igetsoinspired
  • 14
    machine yearnin... @confu... Mar 29 Ø hey do you want to go out with me? I have no availability until next sunday and I hate texting btw
    via confu
  • 15
    Missy @big_dog72 · Mar 26 They were so jubilant off that baldness Tom Cruise ... @TomCrui... · Mar 26 • Fan account Tom Cruise & Cuba Gooding Jr. on his 39th birthday party at Buffalo Club, Los Angeles. July 6, 2001 #tomcruise ...
    via big_dog72
  • 16
    penelope @Knausgaard Facts Mar 26 • i really hope i live to see the day gowanus becomes Amsterdam
    via KnausgaardFacts
  • 17
    WIKIPEDIA The forged depths of wiki... @depth... Mar 24 i'm starting a collection of things like this One-way mirror Article Talk ХА D "Two-way mirror" redirects here. For the Crystal Antlers al A one-way mirror, also called two-way mirror[1]
    via depthsofwiki
  • 18
    Marc Anthony... @miamim.... Mar 23 Parody account Every blockbuster looks like a CollegeHumor video from like 2012 4 Discussing... @Discussin... . Mar 23 First look at Dwayne Johnson as Maui in the live-action 'MOANA' remake.
    via miamim
  • 19
    Meech @Medium SizeMeech • Mar 24 This is public defender sweetie Navjot Pal Kaur @navjotpk. Mar 23 Even the Wall Street bankers are taking the train. #tufftimes
    via MediumSizeMeech
  • 20
    Simply J. @NotJoseph Garcia Mar 24 I sometimes like to take a drink of water and swallow it completely, but not without an errant dribble or two cascading down my chin in messy wayward rivulets • • •
    via NotJosephGarcia
  • 21
    audrey @phlegmme - Mar 22 My governess says I am an eyesore, and to put me in fine wools would be a waste of Father's money :/ Prep Propag... @prep_pr... Mar 20 . Ladies, what is stopping you from dressing like this? catering
    via phlegmme
  • 22
    Bob Sheranko @BobSheranko · Mar 18 • We're doing popcorn reading at the Afters next time. Some of y'all can't read so we're going to practice
    via BobSheranko
  • 23
    Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz. Mar 18 0 ... I love goods. But sometimes services just hit
    via i_zzzzzz
  • 24
    NONBINARYFA... @NONBIN... Mar 17 Ø • He iphoned me and it Felt like a Kiss me up on my iphone ... He hit
    via NONBINARYFA
  • 25
    bri✩ @lavundur Mar 16 does anyone remember when headphones used aux cords and you could pull out the jack to just the right position to only hear the background vocals in a song. does this make sense
    via lavundur
  • 26
    Vivian @suchnerve Mar 16 • 0 Science has yet to answer why every conservative man over 30 years old has very visible inflammation all over his entire body, like every square inch is always redder than it should be ...
    via suchnerve
  • 27
    @labyerenth Mar 15 • Going to work coz im usefulchungus 0.
    via labyerenth

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